Tales from the Tailgate Table

Dad was a family man and a huge sports fan. His active life focused on my mother and his beloved children, a thriving law practice, and a strong commitment to community service. My father relaxed with sports. He could watch a game on television while listening to another on the radio as he read a sports magazine. He had been a Penn State football season ticket holder as had his father before him, and then I, a proud graduate, eventually was as well. Fall football Saturdays were a family tradition. It was around that plastic, portable tailgate table that we enjoyed delicious homemade food, shared our lives, relaxed from the everyday hustle, talked team strategy ad nauseam, and built years of happy family memories. 

There was nothing like taking in the beautiful golds, reds, and oranges of the Nittany Mountains while enjoying a steaming bowl of beef stew and biscuits and breathing in the crisp fall air. The table was overflowing with food and always surrounded by family and friends. While decades of memories flash through my mind, a few stand out for the life lessons learned. As a young girl, I marveled at the size of the stadium and the vastness of the countryside. My father and his friends were all about “the football,” but they welcomed us around the tailgate table as honored guests. The four years I spent at Penn State meant that my college friends would receive a little taste of family love each game. Mom, a fan as well, watched from home and tucked care packages for me among the food baskets. 

As the next generation arrived, a proud grandfather welcomed them to the tailgate table. I remember a game when my youngest asked if he could have both a chocolate and a vanilla cupcake. Homemade with white icing and blue sprinkles, they were irresistible. My recommendation was one before and one after the game. Postgame, we found that our tailgate had been raided. The food was gone with a message, “Thank you” spelled out in toothpicks. My son cried in exasperation, “I knew I should have eaten both cupcakes!” Lesson learned sometimes life is unpredictable so perhaps it is best to eat both desserts. Our shock at the loss of our tailgate buffet was replaced by laughter as we knew that hungry college students were grateful for the food. 

The tailgate table welcomed family, friends, in-laws, neighbors, and work colleagues as our social circles evolved. Grandchildren grew up and eventually attended colleges themselves. There was always room for another camp chair, new recipes, and more lively conversations. My father continued to attend into his 80s even after Mom had passed. He kept the supplies, canopy tent, table, and chairs organized and ready for travel. After one game, the tired crew decided not to unload in the dark. My brother and nephew received a call 20 minutes later asking if they could return to the house. Dad had decided to unload a few things. When he opened the hatchback, the tailgate table fell out knocking him to the ground. A trip to the ER revealed broken bones and a long rehab ahead. I was convinced that our tradition was over.

The following year Dad was doing quite well but hiking up long ramps to the top of a 100,000-seat stadium seemed insurmountable. Dad was adamant, however, that he would not return until he could walk to his seat without assistance. And indeed, he did. I will never forget that day with the roar of the crowd, the marching band playing, those empty seats on the 40-yard line waiting for us. He walked fast, ahead of my sister and me, demonstrating his stubborn independence. When we settled into the seats, I was grateful for the PSU mask which covered my tears of joy and gratitude. Lesson learned; life is extremely challenging at times, but you can do almost anything if you set your mind to it. 

Dad passed away in September of 2022 just before a new season of college football began. He would have been too frail to attend that year. I smile as I imagine my parents together in heaven shining down on us, Mom’s best potato soup bubbling away on the cookstove. They have 50-yard line tickets now, and front-row seats to watch their family grow and thrive.

Kathy is a creative spirit whose life is focused on family and friends, nature, and activities like photography, collaging, hiking, rock climbing, and writing. She is known for her heartfelt holiday letters that are designed to inspire and she is honored to share memories around a portable supper table. Kathy is an art therapist currently working with incarcerated youth, women in recovery, seniors in memory care, etc. engaging them in the creative process for health and healing.  You can find Kathy on LinkedIn.

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