It was an unconventional meal, no doubt about it. My twenty-year-old daughter and I shared lunch from a local sandwich shop in the front seat of our family car. We were hungry, but more than that, it was a way to pass the time while we waited for the repairs on her phone. Just one of a million tasks on the to-do list before she headed back to her college town.
When our girls were growing up, it was important to us that we ate as many meals as we could at the table as a family. But as any mom knows, sometimes life has a way of bumping our plans off course. I have vivid memories of scrambling to practices or running errands with my girls in the backseat of that car. Sometimes, dinner was on the go, like it or not. And the center console of the car served as our dinner table.
Now, here I was, sitting with my adult child in the same car I used to shuttle her around in. That car had seen us through practices, choir concerts, sleepovers, school carpool lines, family vacations, and learner’s permits. And then most recently, it was bursting at the seams with all the necessities for her dorm room when we moved her to college.
This is where I tell you that learning how to let go of my girls’ childhood and that season of our lives has been more challenging than I anticipated. Being a parent to adult children brings on the most incredible mix of emotions.
We sat and ate in the parking lot, windows rolled down and music playing softly over the speakers. Our conversation began with small talk. Then I mentioned something about childhood, all our memories in that car, and lamenting out loud that I’d love to have just one more of those carefree summers.
Her response opened up a door to the past that left me breathless.
“I just remember summertime being so much fun. You always had activities planned for us. We went to the park and had picnics. There was always a playdate with our best friends. We went to the water park and the zoo and we did a lot of baking. Remember that time we made strawberry lemonade cupcakes?!”
As my eyes brimmed with tears, I was struck by how quickly one of my secret fears as a mom began to dissolve right there in the shopping center parking lot. I can easily recall the times I was frustrated and lost my patience. (I blame the Texas heat and long summer days.) There were times when I was snippy or asked the girls to go play in their rooms just so I could get a load of laundry done. Deep down, I feared those were the details they would remember most.
But now, through the eyes of my grown-up child, I saw her childhood from her perspective. I never dreamed she’d remember with such specificity the type of cupcakes we baked one afternoon. Where I recalled moments of perceived shortcomings, she remembered happy, carefree memories made together.
None of us are perfect. But through our weakness, God is able to display His sovereignty and mercy in our lives. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)
His grace was on full display through a simple conversation over a fast food sandwich in a parking lot. He reminded me that while every season is filled with ups and downs, His love covers it all.
We don’t have to be at a formal dinner table to make the most memorable mealtime memories. God reminds us of his goodness even in the most unexpected, ordinary places.
Nicole Pilgrim is a freelance writer, former teacher, and almost-empty nester. A Texas-raised southern girl, she now enjoys living in Northern Colorado and experiencing four actual seasons. Nicole is married to her high school sweetheart, and together they have two young adult daughters.
She loves to write about faith, parenting adult children, and embracing this unfamiliar but exciting season called midlife. Her desire is to encourage others by pointing them to Jesus, making connections, and using humor as her primary love language.
You can follow her writing on Substack or Instagram.
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