Our youngest daughter, Sylvie, decided on January 1st that she is potty trained. It’s been 4 days since we’ve had a wet daytime pull-up and hopefully writing this doesn’t jinx our situation. Brett and I had given up hope of potty training this kid, not because she isn’t capable, but because she seems to view her family members as servants sent here for her convenience. She also doesn’t understand the concept of time yet, so January first was a completely random day to wake up and decide to be a big girl. But man, we’re here for it!
Very rarely does January 1st bring such a dramatic change. There’s usually a big wind-up of expectations on New Year’s Eve and then the next day feels like…the next day. I’ve stopped making New Year’s resolutions because ultimately I’m going to let myself down. In the middle of winter, one gloomy day leading into the next, on the downhill side of the holidays-this is not the time I’m going to be successful with self-improvement or be able to make any lasting changes. I know this about myself. January is a good time though for reminiscing about what has passed and daydreaming about what is to come. That said, here are some thoughts about what worked last year, what didn’t work, what we’re rooting for in 2023, and everything in between.
Don’t trust a second-hand freezer.
This is a lesson I’ve been taught twice in my life and I hope to not have to learn it again. Towards the end of the summer before Ruby was born, we found a used freezer to keep in the garage. It wasn’t particularly hot at the time and it seemed to work well. I spent the last month of pregnancy filling it full of freezer meals and anything I could buy in bulk on sale. A few days after we brought our baby home from the hospital we had a heat wave and the freezer couldn’t keep up. It was heartbreaking to find all that ruined food.
Fast forward to almost a year ago. We found a commercial freezer on Craigslist that was a decent price and seemed to be in good shape. As it turned out, the freezer was significantly older than we were led to believe and it was junk. Luckily we hadn’t filled it full of meat yet and we were just the cash. Brett did a hefty amount of research and found a new one online that was worth every penny. The double doors help keep the cold air in. It is easy to keep organized and be able to reach in and grab what I need. The biggest advantage is having a trustworthy way to store a large amount of meat.
To pig or not to pig.
Brett wasn’t sure about getting pigs. I talked him into it and we brought four piglets home for Mother’s Day. They were so cute, Brett thought I wouldn’t be able to butcher them. I wasn’t worried because I knew they were going to get ugly and stinky. They did, but they also got funnier and funnier! Cute is one thing, but funny is the way to my heart. I did have a hard time when our butcher date came around. The kids and I had a good cry. That’s what it’s all about though, valuing where our food comes from, knowing that it has a cost, and not taking it for granted. The meat is amazing and 100% better than any pork I’ve purchased from the store. As hard as it was to say goodbye to our pigs, I don’t think we can go back to store-bought pork. Raising pigs is definitely something we will be doing again.
Selling meat by the share vs by the cut.
A fluctuating balance. We sell a lot more meat by the share and it’s less work to sell it that way. It’s fewer transactions and logistically easier. The mobile slaughter truck comes to the farm instead of us having to do transport. I do enjoy selling by the cut though. It feels more accessible and I’m passionate about farm-to-table purchases being accessible. Not everyone has the space to buy meat in bulk or a chunk of money in the budget to buy a year’s worth at one time so I want to continue to have meat available in smaller quantities. The number of steers we process custom versus the number we process USDA is going to be flexible and we’ll just go with the flow (and pray for butcher dates when we need them!)
Getting out there and selling in person.
Farmer’s Markets look fun and are on my bucket list. As long as I’m a nurse and working a share of weekends, big Farmer’s Markets aren’t an option. I found a smaller one locally that is on Tuesday afternoons and was excited to sign up for it….until I realized I had four kids and none of them were school-aged (at the time) and two of them were still in diapers (at the time). Nope. Not a realistic way to spend Tuesday afternoons. Yet.
I did set up a pop-up shop outside my father-in-law’s store Labor Day weekend and had a lot of fun. I sold a fair amount of meat, doubled the email list, and had a few friends I met on Instagram show up and become real-life friends. This was a much more manageable commitment, it was family-friendly, and it truly was fun. I’m hoping to be able to do this more in the future.
Insurance is important.
I’m thankful for my career as a nurse and the years I’ve spent in my chosen specialty, but the burnout is real. Early in 2022, I tried to cut back on my hours at the hospital and took a per diem position. The upside is less of a commitment, more flexibility with scheduling, and a higher rate of pay because the biggest downside is not qualifying for benefits. I did a lot of research and signed us up for a bill-sharing program. I think these types of programs can be great as long as everyone on the plan is completely healthy. They aren’t considered true insurance, so they can be selective about preexisting conditions. About a year before this, Sylvie had a cold that caused reactive airway and had an ER visit for steroids and breathing treatments. Kids don’t officially get diagnosed with asthma until they are quite a bit older, so it didn’t cross my mind that this would be a preexisting condition. In January 2022, not even a month into our alternative to insurance experiment, Sylvie had another ER visit for her reactive airway that we ended up having to pay for out of pocket.
After that, I took a regular, benefitted position again and got us all back on an insurance plan. I’m so thankful that happened early in the year because we had several big health issues in the fall. One of our kids spent 4 nights in the children’s hospital and there were 5 or 6 ER visits, multiple follow-ups, and labs upon labs. Before this, I had hopes of leaving nursing completely, but now I know that it’s realistic because I’ll never feel comfortable experimenting with insurance again.
If I can’t leave nursing….
Then I should leave the emergency department. It’s the right thing for this season of my life. I took a job in care management in November and haven’t looked back. I haven’t looked back mostly because I haven’t had a chance! I’ve been working full-time for the past couple of months on orientation and am just now settling into my part-time, more manageable schedule. I’m sure there’s going to be some grief and a bit of an identity crisis but I’ll deal with that when it pops up. Life is too short to be so anxious, run-down, and angry. I want to enjoy myself and have more energy. Along with the role change, it’s also a switch from 12-hour shifts to 8-hour shifts, which I think will really make a difference to our family.
Writing in the margins.
In February I attended a virtual conference and one of the speakers, Gary Moreland, delivered a message I desperately needed to hear. He talked about how, in this season of having a house full of littles with big needs, it can be so overwhelming trying to write and create. If we let it, it can make us angry and resentful. But that’s life and it’s the life that gives us inspiration. That completely changed my perspective and I’m at peace with the little margins I have left for creativity. Giving in to the frustration takes away from the energy I have for the margins, if that makes sense. Plus I’ve found writing with a group helps anchor me in accountability, and I plan to continue both the writing groups I belong to in the coming year.
This blog post was written in participation in a Blogging Bee-an online gathering reminiscent of the quilting bees and sewing bees of days past when women would bring their work together to create art. If you enjoyed this post with the theme “New,” take a look at these posts from other farmers, small business owners, homesteaders, and creatives.
2023 – Let’s try something NEW! by Megan Rudroff
