Plant Seeds of Community to Grow Neighbourly Friendships

There are things we do automatically without even thinking about it. Some things we observed as children became part of us, having grown up with them. And maybe you have grown up with traditions that you have now taken for your own. That’s happened to me when it comes to having visitors over or visiting others.

“You wouldn’t go to visit someone with empty hands,” my mum would say whilst searching for something we could take for those we were visiting. And so, I learned that it is culturally inappropriate to visit someone and not to take anything with you. 

Social etiquette may tell me not to turn out at someone’s door empty-handed. But what do you do when you move to a different place and want to make friends or at least get to know your neighbours? “Should I go to visit every house on our street?” I thought when we moved house eight years ago. “Should I buy or maybe bake something and take it to each neighbour on the street?”

I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I would like to do something. ‘What about baking a cake or two and inviting our new neighbours to our house for drinks and cakes?’ I asked my husband. He agreed, so I wrote a note and popped it into each of our neighbour’s post boxes.

I must admit that as the time was nearing, I was getting more and more nervous. On the day I awoke thinking “What if no one turns up?” And even as the first neighbours knocked on the door, I found myself wondering, “What if they don’t like us?”

I was delighted an hour later when the sound of joy and laughter could be heard coming from our house. Most of our neighbours had made it. Whether it was their curiosity, kindness, or perhaps both, they had decided to accept our invitation and had their own questions. 

Going to bed that night I was delighted the day had gone so well. I also wondered how many times I had not done something to avoid the risk of failure or putting myself outside of my comfort zone.

But that day showed me that I wasn’t the only one who had their own doubt and questions and that if we persevere something nice can come out of it. On this day the seeds were sown, and the trees were planted; the roots of several friendships were formed that have lasted until today and will hopefully do so into the future.

Even today, our welcoming party is often still a talking point when we get together. Our friendships have grown, with some neighbours more than others, but I’m so grateful that I didn’t cast the plan of organising a welcome party away with my first doubts.

The friendships we have formed in our neighbourhood have helped cultivate a sense of community. We have been living in our house for several years now and have enjoyed many get-togethers, barbeques and dinner parties with our neighbours. We even visited one couple in their holiday home abroad. What was once planted, we have continued to water over the years, and have allowed it to grow naturally.

Growing these friendships has enabled us to learn more about each other. After all, this was the idea behind inviting people to our home. So, we could get to know each other and help create a community where we are all happy to be living next to each other.

For me, inviting someone into my home is a way of showing trust and respect. And interpreting Solomon’s words in Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,” (KJV), we must be willing to express our openness and friendliness. Of course, I wouldn’t want to expose our home to dangerous situations, but I had a feeling that by inviting our neighbours over to our home there was more to gain than lose.

And I’m glad I listened to that feeling.

Katy Parker is a trauma-informed well-being writer who integrates mental health and faith into her words. She is a mental health and grief advocate and mentor who was born in Slovakia, but lives in England (UK) and shares her journey of healing and hope on her Journeyofsmiley blog. Katy believes that God left her in this world for a reason, and during her recovery, she created the PTSD: My Story Project,  a safe space for trauma survivors to share their stories and let others know they aren’t alone. She is also the creator of the Grief Stories series, giving a voice to grief and loss and providing support and comfort in hard times.

Her goal is to encourage and empower others on their healing journey. Katy believes that healing shouldn’t be a luxury and that everyone deserves a chance to heal. That’s why she created a free e-book, “7 Keys To Self-Healing, A Trauma Survivor’s Guide.” Check out Katy’s Journeyofsmiley blog and get the keys to your healing. You can also find her on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, X (formerly Twitter), and TikTok.

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