Table Confessions

I have a confession to make. The year is 2023 and over dinner, I had a realization. In the 15 years since I flew away from the bird’s nest. I never once owned my own kitchen table.

But Steph, where have you been eating at all this time?

After flying from the nest (momma bird kicked that little bird out), I didn’t need a table. The many chow halls I have eaten at have had their own tables. In my many different rooms,  I sat in a chair and ate a microwave meal or sandwich of some variety. If I was lucky, I would get invited to somewhere that had a table that wasn’t my four walls.

In 2012, my apartment had a bar counter and there wasn’t room for a table. My daughter had a high chair and our family ate there.

In 2013-2014, we had the space for a table and got our table from someone who was moving and didn’t want to take it with them. I’m all for finding a good deal and using resources wisely.

That table moved with me when I had a divorce, with only the clothes I owned and half of my daughter’s belongings. I remember that year being really hard. I recall sitting at that table and questioning my life choices. My transition out of the military wasn’t smooth. I ate spaghetti for well over 3 months at that table, it’s still my (least) “favorite” meal.

I remember deciding to sell the little possessions I owned while sitting at that table. That got me someone’s guest bedroom used bed. So I now had something to sleep on. That year a neighbor, now a dear friend, brought Christmas to my small family. I remember decorating the table with the silver tinsel, and tiny red bows that you could get from the dollar store. I wove it in and out of the metal trim that adorned the circle table. To this day, it’s still one of my favorite memories.

Somewhere between 2014 and 2016, I moved twice, my family grew and we needed a larger table. We were fortunate enough to find a table from someone else who was getting rid of theirs again.

Becoming a military family (again) comes with unique experiences. Your furniture doesn’t fit or you have too much. You were supposed to get a “house” but only qualify for the apartment until you can prove you need the house. If you want your stuff at your next duty station you have to let the movers pack it ahead of time unless you want additional factors to play in your stress and move. Then you have to wait for it all to be delivered. Hopefully in one piece.

So for more than one occasion, we ate off of fold-out chairs and plastic buckets or bins.

We used the resources that were available to us at the time. Laying down the “extra blanket” for family picnics. Watching a movie on a tablet and eating on the floor.

We moved yet again. This time we actually bought a genuine dinner table.

Fast forward to dinner right before Thanksgiving. I looked up and said “Honey, you know what I just realized? We are going to eat Thanksgiving dinner at our table.” Which led to one of the kids inquiring, “Haven’t we always eaten at a table?”

Short answer, no. No, we haven’t as we strolled through memory lane.

It felt like some achievement had just been unlocked. Realizing everything I, and collectively we, had gone through. Eating at our own table.

Every family has their own way of doing things. At our house, our rules, our friends’ house their rules. At least this is what I explain to the kids.

At dinner, we don’t have electronics such as phones or tablets being used. More often than not, the television is going on in the background. However, if you are the “lucky one” to sit in the chair that can see the screen, you get some screen time. Our children can vouch for that. As long as we aren’t having an “all eyes on me” moment of importance, we let that slide.

They know dinner time is dinner time and we sit down as a family. This is the opportunity to come to the table and share life, and negotiate computer, tablet time, or allowance. A place to express whatever is going on in a safe place. And if for whatever reason we need a private talk we make time for that at the table too. If mommy doesn’t know or hear you…mommy can’t help you.

We haven’t always had a table to share a meal around. But we always made that time to share a meal.

It’s introducing my friend to a kiwi over breakfast chow in transition to our deployment.

It’s gathering over a game and eating whatever everyone brought to bond on the couch and bar counter. Find out “Gekkos” really like my deviled eggs.

Those same “Gekkos” ate my deviled eggs in our new home thousands of miles apart.

It’s having a family picnic and making the best of our situation.

It’s taking a stroll through memory lane of how far we have come.

Sitting down and making goals for our future.

Wherever you call home and wherever you share your meal, memories are being made.

May the New Year be filled with many opportunities and new adventures for you and your family.

Hi Fellow Humans! I am Stephanie. I am a military veteran, mother of 4 children, and a fur baby named Gremlin. I am the creator behind Stephanie Creates Blank. I love food, coffee, chocolate, and cats. Punny jokes are my favorite. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and my website.

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