The holiday season can be a stressful time of year. It tends to be full of commitments, obligations, and high expectations. Whether we put pressure on ourselves, feel the weight from outside pressure, or a combination of both it can be hard to relax and be present. Here are three ideas to help make holidays more peaceful.
Choose what’s most important; relax about the rest.
Growing up, every year we celebrated Christmas Eve with my dad’s side of the family. As her sons grew up, got married, and had kids of their own my grandma knew she would have to be flexible with holiday gatherings. She decided early on that Christmas Eve was most important to her and claimed it as her holiday to host. We gathered together at their house on Christmas Eve for over 30 years. Everyone was free to make other plans for the rest of the holidays without guilt. Often times we did end up celebrating together more, but this was the one firm commitment.
This exact model doesn’t work in my adult life for a few reasons. We live a few hours away from extended family on my side, we have more family now–my kids have three sets of grandparents, and as a nurse, I have to work rotating holidays. But the basic principle applies. Figure out that one key thing that will bring the most fulfillment and magic, then loosen the grip on everything else.
Let the kids pick the menu.
No really. I promise it will be perfect! This was long before the days of Pinterest, but if anyone knows how to overdo a holiday meal, it would be the women in my family. Christmas Eve was different. My grandma let each of her grandkids pick their favorite food. It was a random buffet of odd but delicious food. Someone picked german sausage and sauerkraut. I picked a macaroni salad with bay shrimp and imitation crab. One of my brothers picked pizza. None of this was particularly difficult to make (or order from Dominos) but we all felt so special and had full tummies.
If I remember right, each family brought a side and a platter of Christmas cookies. There was plenty for the meal and a variety of treats for dessert. The best part was the simplicity. We were able to come together and have a special time, but the highlight was the gathering. There wasn’t a lot of pressure, no one felt overwhelmed, and we could all enjoy being family.
Ornaments make excellent gifts.
Brett started this tradition early in our relationship. Before our first Christmas together he suggested exchanging ornaments. I thought it was such a clever, romantic idea and was all in. But really he had a free ornament from a giveaway at the Puyallup Fair…and that’s how it all started. We laugh about that story every year when we pull it out of the box, but we’ve also continued to give each other ornaments every year.
Most years that’s all we get each other since we have everything we need (except the years I’ve given him a baby–then I demanded jewelry)! The kids get ornaments too and it’s so fun to talk about the stories behind each one. There’s the cowboy snowman with the word “hope” he got me the year I had given up hope for having a baby. There’s the acorn I got him last year because life with four kids is “nuts.” This year our two oldest kids are practicing their letters and learning how to read and write. It’s 100% alphabet in our house right now, so I bought us each an ornament with the first letter of our name to remember this phase.
Bonus idea: Decorations as gifts.
This works because I’m never in a big hurry to clean up and pack everything away after Christmas. Decorations are ridiculously cheap a few days before Christmas. For the past couple of years, I’ve been taking advantage of those sales then wrapping them and giving them to the kids as presents (I just wanted to add, these aren’t their only presents).
The idea came to me when I found this chipmunk that looked like Sylvie and realized it was 75% off.
I realize I won’t be able to get away with this forever, but it solves a handful of my immediate problems. The kids have fun things to open on Christmas morning and it doesn’t add to the overwhelming avalanche of toys they already own. It gives the kids more investment in decorating for Christmas and makes it more personal. They’ll have their own little starter kits of Christmas decorations with built-in memories to take with them when they’re ready to leave home. Let’s be honest though, I love a good sale, and it’s an inexpensive way to upgrade our decorations.
This blog post was written in participation in a Blogging Bee-an online gathering reminiscent of the quilting bees and sewing bees of days past when women would bring their work together to create art. If you enjoyed this post about “Traditions,” take a look at these posts from other farmers, small business owners, homesteaders, and creatives.
Our Traditional Christmas Day on the Farm by Joanna Shepherd
