Wild and Unruly Part 2

“Wild and unruly” are the words I’ve been mulling over for over a year. They come from a line in one of my favorite songs as a teenager, Cowboy Take Me Away by The Chicks. Brett tossed the words at me as a joke, a way of describing our kids and life on the farm, which I wrote about here in Part 1. But as I thought about the song more, I realized it had a much bigger significance than a fun way to justify our parenting style.

When I was young, I sang along to the radio, “I want to grow something wild and unruly,” like a hymn to the heavens; like a prayer I didn’t even realize I was praying, shamelessly sharing my dreams for the future. Now I can see that so many of those dreams have come true and I am so thankful for this life. I went away to college and became an emergency nurse with just as much drama and excitement as I had imagined. My cowboy found me and we built a life together complete with a cozy house overflowing with kids and a farm full of animals. 

But it’s hard. It’s all really, really hard. So much responsibility can be suffocating. Paralyzing. I constantly feel like I’m failing and can’t keep all the plates spinning in the air. Anxiety creeps in and it’s almost like I can feel it squeezing the fun out of every cell in my body. There’s too much to lose now, too much to risk, that I can’t seem to let go and enjoy a good adventure anymore. 

So what’s the answer? How do I reconnect with that girl, the one whose dreams I am living out? How do I honor her and still be authentic to my current reality? How do I live like this is the sweet spot of enough? Not too much. Not too little. Simply enough? I want my days to be filled with more joy and wonder than overwhelm and anxiousness, and I don’t want the thief of comparison to steal that joy and wonder either. I don’t have all the answers but I do know God answers prayers and this is the song my heart has been singing lately…

A Blessing for the Mama with the Wild and Unruly Heart

Blessed is she who had the stars in her eyes, the wind in her hair, and her heart wide open toward the future. Blessed is the one who has seen many of her dreams realized though she mourns the ones that didn’t. Blessed is the one who understands the burden of the future turning into the past.

When she feels overwhelmed by the weight of her responsibilities, may she know that she is not wrong. May she take to heart that most things that are important are hard, but also find the space to rest and hear an encouraging word.

When she feels lost and unable to see the path before her, may she know she isn’t walking alone. May she find comfort in her companion and cel ebrate the journey.

When her soul feels the nagging, relentless wringing of anxiety, may the Holy Spirit wash over her with peace. May she remember that God loves her people—even more than she does. May she truely know that He is good.

When she feels like a stranger in her own skin, may she rediscover her beauty; it hasn’t disappeared but evolved into something more substantial. May she remember her body’s miraculous works and nurture it as worthy of care.

When she feels lonely and far from home, may she look back in wonder at how far she has traveled. May she feel comfort in the home she has made for her loved ones and enjoy her own hospitality.

When she feels a deep longing that she cannot name, may she feel understood by the One that created her. May she reconnect with the freedom to dream with abandon while savoring the joy of the present.

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All of these reflections on “wild and unruly” resonate with me deeply and feel like there are so many other mamas out there that do too, I put the message on some tank tops. And kid shirts. And onesies. In pink and in blue.  Check out this IG reel to see all the options in action.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series “Enough”.